We're Too Damn Nice

In the interest of full disclosure, I will say (as if you didn't know by now) that I am a rabid fan of Anthony Bourdain. So if I were to say that last night's episode of No Reservations was another spectacular manifestation of the genius of Bourdain, it shouldn't be that big a surprise.

But since last night's episode was on the Philippines, I loved the episode not only because of its technical merits but also because it was able to get to the meat of the matter (alert: lame attempt at pun #1). Last night was no ordinary travel episode. No near-manic exclamations about the Philippines' inherent beauty. No over zealous panning of smiling men-women-children amidst a backdrop of muted poverty. And aside from the fleeting understatement on how the Filipinos were so "ridiculously nice" to Bourdain, there was no hyped-up (re)utterance regarding Filipino hospitality. Not to say that all these aren't true. They are. But if I had a buck for every time this sort of cop-out sentimentality comes up...

...This was a realistic presentation of a question so intrinsic to all Filipinos -- a question that probably lingers at the back of the mind of many of those fortunate to live in the Philippines; a question that burns in the front burner (as opposed to the back burner -- lame attempt at pun #2) for those who, like myself, live so far: What is "Filipino"?

In Bourdain's narration, I could sense his perplexity. Are Filipinos Malayan? Chinese? Spanish? American? This confusion regarding our national identity is not only the reason there is no definitive Filipino presence in the global food scene, it is symptomatic of a cultural fault that is oftentimes thought of as a boon: That we are "too damn nice" (as Bourdain aptly put it). Instead of forging a clear identity, our default reaction at the face of a foreign presence is assimilation.

No, wait, that's a hasty generalization. I've been witness to a lot of efforts by fellow Filipinos who -- violently and peacefully -- fight for what is "truly Filipino" (no matter how enigmatic that notion may be). But I only have to look at myself to see the effects of assimilation: My so-called American accent, my movie and music preferences, the majority of books in my (ever-growing) collection, my idiomatic expressions, heck, even the language I use to blog and how I italicize Filipino words*. I have so successfully assimilated in the Western culture, that aside from the Highlander moments I have with fellow Filipinos here in the US (that is, they just *sense* that I'm Filipino), to The Other, I am just ubiquitously Asian. I have been Vietnamese, Chinese, Indonesian, and -- my favorite -- "Philippinese" so many times, it's become a game to me now ("Quick, what do you think I am?" *insert sly smile*)

Gloria Anzaldúa talks about the hybrid persona, "the new mestiza" in Borderlands/La Frontera. She talks about how, as a Chicana, she is caught in the middle of so many notions of who she is because of her cultural history. I feel for her entirely. I am letter D and letter E in the cultural multiple choice of life: none of the above, and all of the above (always, sometimes, AND never).

But instead of dissecting the parts of my hybridity, I want to embrace all of these wonderfully opposing-while-also-complementing parts that make me who I am. This hybrid identity IS the new identity. All of the above, none of the above, always, sometimes, and never, full stop. No parenthetical remarks. In the same way as all 7000+ islands make up one country, all those influences make up one identity.

Bourdain felt sad for Augusto, his pseudo-Virgil, and rightly so. Augusto reminds me of a Fil-Am friend I have here who also struggles to find the balance between being raised American while being proudly Filipino. Now that he and his wife are about to have a child, the question spills over to how they will raise their child and how they will strike their own balance in the formation of his/her own national identity. But while the episode ended with a somber note, the story of the Filipino goes on. And while the quest for national identity is not unique to Filipinos, it goes without saying that perhaps this question should be dealt with more urgency and seriousness in the midst of our frenzied attempts to assimilate.

Good grief. I haven't even talked about the food that was featured!  But see, the episode was so much more than the food (but oh, glorious food!!!) and became downright existential for me. Guh. Well done, Bourdain.

Oh, and while you've officially named Cebu's lechon the "best pig ever," allow me to haughtingly say, tell me something I didn't know. ;-)

Now where can I find me some sisig?!?!?!

* But I must be more forgiving of myself on this point as I realize I have an international audience -- woohoo, I have an audience. Another coin in my Narcisstic Piggy Bank.