Now that I've been a teacher for the juniors for quite some time, I've always had to deal with prom woes around this time of the year. I've dispensed tips over the years, and I don't know why I never really thought of writing all of them down in one go. I was thinking of writing a blog entry about it, and as fate would have it, one of my kids emailed me a few minutes ago, asking about that pep talk I gave them a few days ago.
Now I went through that nostalgic self flagellation earlier to assure you that I present you these tips not as an expert but as someone who wishes, very much, to be able to go back in time, wrench the silly little 16 year old that I was from her grungy hole , and do everything else over again.
Sigh. Okay. (Good Lord, I can't believe I wore black. :p)
Here we go, my top ten tips (and you know it's great because there are ten of them...and it's alliterative):
- Make sure you reserve a corsage a week (or more) before the day of the prom itself. Proms usually happen around the same time, and flower shops might be inundated with orders by the time you send in yours. Boys are usually preoccupied with choosing a color that would match her dress, but this is only secondary in importance to...
- NOT getting a pin-corsage (or whatever the hell you call it). Get the kind that wraps around the wrist in a bow. A bow ha, not alambre. The pin corsage will get you in all sorts of trouble come, er, pinning time. You'll end up being really anxious about where to place your hands as you pin it (can you imagine doing it while her parents are around...with camera???) -- as you should be. You might end up having her pin it on to herself, but it really is the most unflattering angle for her (remember, her parents are there with the camera). She'll look weird trying to pin the corsage on herself (bending down that way will give her double chins -- remember, the camera!) and she might ruin her dress. The alambre corsage, on the other hand, is just plain weird...and painful if left with the wrong hands. Meaning, yours. Don't get orchids because they look funeral-esque. Stick to roses or carnations or mums. I personally like those small white flowers that come as "fillers" in a bouquet. They're simple, pretty, and not overpowering.
- You and your bros will probably take all of 1 hour (I'm just guessing here) to prepare what with the gross jokes and the body odor dispelling (again, just guessing here, but do attend to the body odor please). Your dates? Not so much. Still, arrive at her house (or meeting place) at least 5 minutes before time. You can ring the doorbell en punto, but anticipate that you'll have to wait for her. If you absolutely cannot help being late, text/call her, but know that it would be frightful tacky of you to be late. Since you anticipate that you'll be early, do practice your small talk. This will probably be the time for the parents to get to know you a bit more...
- So, brush up on your current events. There's a pretty important trial going on right now, you might want to read up on that. No, do not talk about the latest (stupid) meme on 9gag as some parents may not know what you mean by 9gag (nor will they appreciate that you frequent a Web site that has the word "gag" in it). Do not talk about showbiz chismis (unless the parents start with it, in which case, ayos). Get ready to talk about your favorite book (oh, please be a reader, if only for the season) and your family (parents provinces, brothers, sisters, where you live, etc). The parents would like to know that you come from good people.
- When you see your date, COMPLIMENT HER. I mean out loud. Do not, however, be lewd. Be classy with your compliments. Tell her she looks nice, you like her hair that way, that's a pretty color on her, etc. No one's asking you to be Tim Gunn, you don't have to go into the nitty gritties of her look ("That chignon really does elongate your neck in the most delightful of ways!"), but do take notice of all her hard work. Be sincere though, so if you can't genuinely appreciate her hair, make up, dress, shoes, or bag (see, so many to choose from!), at least tell her she smells nice. :p DO NOT let your eyes linger where they shouldn't. Be a gentleman. You are made of finer stuff. Besides, her dad's an arm's length away, ready to correct your wandering eyes.
- As you leave, thank her parents for letting her go with you. Then, tell them what time you'll be bringing her back, or ask them what time they want her back. Also, give your number (and your driver's number) so that they can contact you in case of any emergency (i.e. you've gone way past curfew). This not only makes the parents feel better about letting their precious princess go with you, it ensures that if all goes well and you'll want another date with her, the parents will be more kampante to let her go.
- Unless you're already good friends, prepare more small talk topics for inside the car. Make sure you ask her questions...and let her answer. Keep asking until you get to the "me, too!" portion of the conversation. Don't worry, you'll get there. If you don't, make sure you have good music in the car. At least you can chairdance (or headbob at the very least) together.
- When you get to the venue, do not speak to anyone without introducing your date to him/her as well. It is rude to carry on a conversation with anyone else and leave her out of it. Most especially, introduce your dates to your moderators. (Ehem, 3A2012. We have already spoken about this.)
- Now, when deciding where to sit (and I realize this should've come kanina pa), try to get a table so that your date will be comfortable, too. I know you'd like to sit with your friends, but this is your house, so to speak. You'll most likely be comfortable anywhere anyway. Try to get a table with classmates whose dates are either friends of your date or would most likely get along with her. Do not share the table with an ex-girlfriend-slash-MU-slash-best-friend-who-happens-to-be-a-girl. Girls are a complicated lot. Believe me. You wouldn't want this sort of drama to unfold on the night itself.
- You'd think my last tip would be to have fun? Be yourself? Enjoy, because you only live once? No, my dearest ones. My last and most important tip is this: BRING YOUR DATES BACK HOME ON TIME!!! Do not go over the curfew. If it's totally unavoidable, YOU call her parents and let them know. She might insist on doing it herself, but realize that a real gentleman would do it himself. No, a real gentleman would BRING HIS DATE BACK HOME ON TIME, but this is the next best thing.
And so there you have it. I probably forgot a whole bunch of other stuff, but these are the ones that are most pressing.
NOW, I shall say have fun and don't sweat the small stuff.
But really, do something about that body odor. ;)
