The Light of God's Answer

Chaddy and I knew from the get-go that we wanted to have kids. We started trying soon after the wedding, but we knew it would take some time. For years I've had a bum reproductive system. I won't go into the wonderful details of my ovaries and uterus and whatnot, but suffice it to say, we knew that my pipich reproductive system would have to go through a lot.

Sure enough, it wasn't easy. Month after month, we'd try and then get disappointed. We'd make jokes about it, but really, it was hard. It was especially hard because some well-meaning (oh, who am I kidding, some of them were mean-spirited) people would keep asking when we'd have kids (as if we didn't want any) or (gasp) why we didn't have kids yet. *sigh* I can only speak for myself, but it's a different kind of sadness when you get disappointed, hope again, then get disappointed yet again. My body went through hell, but my heart. Oh, my heart. My heart would break month after month after month.

Exhausted with all the trying and corresponding disappointments, I was ready to quit trying. One of my good friends who also happens to be a ninang gave me some perspective though. She told me to ask myself why I kept at it. She told me to look at Chaddy and our relationship to realize that, "wala namang kulang." Chad and I were perfect as we were, and if we do become blessed with a child, it would be a beautiful addition, and not something to plug in a hole. And it's true, blessings shouldn't be chased. They just come when we least expect it, and, more importantly, when the Lord sees that we are ready to receive it.

So, not that we stopped trying, but Chaddy and I got a bit more perspective. I, for one, ceased being all too rabid about it. I stopped being so hard on myself (well, as much as I could since I'm hard on myself over almost everything...). So when I finally found out I was pregnant, I wept. I wasn't even expecting it to happen. I seriously thought I had an infection of some sort. When the nurse/technician/I dunno said I was pregnant (I had to take a urine test to see if I was sick with anything...or pregnant...), I cried like a cartoon character -- you know, trajectory tears and everything. With hyperventilation. Basta, think of the most melodramatic way a person could possibly cry. That would be me. She panicked for a while, she thought I was devastated and had no one to help me. In the midst of tears and laughter, I told her I was married and I was happy and she didn't have to worry.

The last few weeks have been wonderful. Well, physically, it's been weird. But things are sort of tapering off, and I'm more at peace with all the bodily changes. Several friends have commented on my excitement and how it has been rubbing off on people (one even said that because of my excitement, people are literally getting pregnant around me! Kaboom, goes the Baby Boom...). Well, it's because we've been trying so desperately for almost three years. But also, because we are humbled because the Lord has deemed us ready for such a wonderful blessing.

Her name will be Lucia Eliana. Lucia means "light" and we settled on that name ages ago. (We also have a name for a boy -- I'm telling you, we were trying for a loooong time.) Since it took us this long, we also decided to add a second name, Eliana, which means, "God has answered." And so this beautiful child will be a constant reminder that we are living in the light of God's answer to our prayers.

Five more months and I cannot wait! You all have been splendidly brilliant to us this whole time with your prayers and well wishes. We cannot thank you enough, really. Please continue to pray for us and the other preggo women out there. (What say we stage our own production number ala the pregnant girlettes in Glee? Haha, and what was up with that??? Did you see their ankles? Pregnant my big, fat, widening bumbum...)

So there. What a treat. :-) I'm not even so hung up over getting a ladylike laugh anymore. I'm too happy for that. So I'll end with that, my happy, boisterous, and preposterous cackle. :-)

LOL!!! x)