Context

Had a rough morning. Well, I've had a rough couple of days, but this morning was just something else. Of course, the day has hardly begun (I haven't even taught my first class yet), so this could still turn out to be a good day. Still, I find myself having to spread myself too thin - emotionally, mentally...and this morning, morally.

I wanted to lash out in anger in the most inappropriate way kanina...as in cut to Quentin Tarantino action sequence. I'd like to list down the things that I wish I could've done, but I might be institutionalized for rage issues. So, I'm going to list down the comedic things that I wish I could've done to vent my anger.

Okay, so here:

1. Sing Rage Against the Machine's Wake Up in full effect.
2. Transform into the Jabberwocky and show them how I am going to have a frabjous day. Callooh, callay my ass.
3. Turn into Rebecca Black and sing Friday for 45 minutes. Nonstop.
4. Show them pictures of me giving birth via C-section, and then force them to eat at the same time.
5. Compute for frikkin' pi.

And that's it. As it turns out, that's the extent of my comedic venting because, truly, I am very angry. Extremely angry. And fed up.

It's getting harder and harder to find the funny side of things now. It isn't funny-haha anymore as much as it is funny-I-just-want-this-to-stop. I am existentially Arms Akimbo itself. 

I said I'd leave all this behind before it gets toxic, before I become bitter. Yeah. Well. Too late for that. Methinks I should've left five minutes ago.

Now, hold your horses. I'm not leaving now. For the meantime, I'm still here. For some of the people I work with, because they are like family to me now. For my kids for they are awesome. (Thank God at least my kids are wonderful.) 

But if I'm going to stay longer than necessary, I want to stay for me, and I find that I can no longer do that. 

Bah.