Tantrums, Naps, Goodbyes

At church earlier, Lucia had her first, real, public temper tantrum. Indeed, the Terrible Twos are a-comin'. I whisked her away, out of the Crying Room (yes, the irony is not lost on me). When that didn't work, we went up the staircase. That didn't work, so we went downstairs instead. That didn't work, so we went out into the street. That still didn't work, so we calmly got our bags and left. She was still crying bloody hell in the van.

I'd like to think I was relatively calm throughout the whole episode. I just let her cry and sort of waited the whole episode out. The embarrassment that other people said I would feel didn't really settle in. Mostly, I was...jealous. I was jealous that she could have such a fit in public. Sometimes I want to just flail my arms, cry, let the freaking snot flow down my face, and just cry, cry, cry.

And I wanted to cry, right then and there. I didn't know what was happening to me, I didn't know why I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know why this little nugget of heaven would cling to me for comfort when I couldn't find it within myself to just...

Eventually, she did calm down. In fact, right now, I can hear her and the yaya squealing with delight over goodness know's what. She should be taking a nap soon, but I don't know when or how that's going to happen now.

I'd like to take a nap. Sleep for a long, long, long time, and wake up, when all this is over. But I can't sleep. (Eat, move, breathe.)

Oh. Because it's Monday tomorrow. And tomorrow I say goodbye. That's why.