Friday, August 29, 2008

The Life and Death of Del Martin, Pioneer LGBT Rights Activist


Got the news of the death of Del Martin from the kind folks at Soulforce through email today.

I remember seeing her wedding picture soon after the legalization of gay marriage in California, and it literally brought tears to my eyes.

Here's what the email said:

"Born in San Francisco in May of 1921, Del met Phyllis in 1950 and shortly thereafter they founded the first national lesbian organization, Daughters of Bilitis. Understanding the relationship of religious dogma in the oppression of gays and lesbians, Martin and Lyon in 1964 joined religious and gay community leaders to form the Council on Religion and the Homosexual (CRH), which was at the forefront of the movement to gain religious support on gay rights issues.

Martin was the author of Battered Wives (1976) and the co-author of Lesbian/Woman with Lyon (1972). She was first out lesbian elected to the National Organization for Women (NOW).

Del and Phyllis' role in gay and lesbian rights was publicly acknowledged when the mayor of San Francisco announced that they would be the first to be legally married in California on June 16th of this year. After 58 years as partners, the two were at long last able to marry.

All of us at Soulforce are grateful for the relentless activism of Del Martin throughout the years and we send our heartfelt condolences to her wife, Phyllis."

Indeed. I feel honored to share the same wedding anniversary with them. What a wonderful life she had. Here's the San Francisco Chronicle news article on her death:

. . . . . . . . . .

Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin dies at 87Rachel Gordon, Chronicle Staff Writer
Thursday, August 28, 2008

(08-27) 14:57 PDT SAN FRANCISCO
-- Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin, whose trailblazing activism spanned more than five decades, most recently in the battle for same-sex marriage, died Wednesday, just two months after she made history again by wedding her longtime partner in San Francisco City Hall.

Ms. Martin, an author and organizer, died at UCSF Hospice after a long period of declining health. She was 87 and was admitted to the hospital nearly two weeks ago with a broken arm.

Ms. Martin's crusading began in 1955, during an era in America known more for social conformity than for rebellion, when she co-founded a lesbian social-turned-political organization, Daughters of Bilitis, named after a 19th century book of lesbian love poetry.

This year, on June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were legally wed. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated. Theirs was among the first same-sex nuptials in California.

"Her last act of activism was her most personal - marrying the love of her life," said Kate Kendell, a longtime friend of the couple and executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

"Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would come when she wouldn't be by my side," Lyon, 83, said in a statement. "I am so lucky to have known her, loved her and been her partner in all things.

"I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be able to get married," Lyon said. "I am devastated, but I take some solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and commitment before she passed."
'We're not getting younger'

Ms. Martin had been in failing health for some time, weakened to the point where she was pushed in a wheelchair to her wedding ceremony. In an interview in her hillside Noe Valley home just days before she took her marriage vows in the mayor's office, Ms. Martin described as fortunate the timing of the California Supreme Court decision that gave gays and lesbians the right to marry.

"We're not getting younger," she said.

Ms. Martin and Lyon were plaintiffs in the lawsuit that got the state ban on same-sex marriage lifted. They were married at 5:07 p.m, just minutes after the ruling took effect.

Four years ago, when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed marriage licenses to be issued to gay and lesbian couples in San Francisco in defiance of state law, Ms. Martin and Lyon were the first of about 4,000 same-sex couples to wed and made news internationally. Those marriages were later nullified by the state's high court but paved the way for the successful legal challenge.

"We would never have marriage equality in California if it weren't for Del and Phyllis," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the San Francisco Democrat. "They fought and triumphed in many battles, beginning when they first bought a home together in San Francisco in 1955."

Pelosi called the death of Ms. Martin "a great loss for me personally and for our entire community."

Newsom, who said Ms. Martin "laid the groundwork for all those who want a life of dignity," ordered the flags at City Hall and the rainbow gay-pride flag at Market and Castro streets to be flown at half-staff until sunset today.

Ms. Martin's activist reach extended into the feminist movement when she became the first open lesbian to serve on the board of directors of the National Organization for Women, and she helped spearhead a successful campaign to get the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from its roster of mental illnesses.

In 1995, Sen. Dianne Feinstein named her as a delegate to the White House Conference on Aging, where she and Lyon, a delegate appointed by Pelosi, focused attention on the needs of aging gays and lesbians.

Feinstein said Wednesday, "Del and Phyllis were a loving couple, cherished by an entire community. They inspired so many, young and old."

Ms. Martin, whose given name was Dorothy but who went by Del, was born in San Francisco in 1921. Her first marriage, at age 19, was brief but produced a daughter, Kendra Mon, who lives in Petaluma. She also is survived by two grandchildren.
Together for almost 60 years

She and Lyon met in Seattle in 1950 while both were working as journalists for a trade publication. Their friendship turned into a romance two years later. In 1953, on Valentine's Day, the couple moved into a Castro district flat in San Francisco.

After helping found the Daughters of Bilitis, they started a newsletter, called the Ladder, which grew into a magazine focused on lesbian politics and culture.

In the first issue, Ms. Martin set the tone for how she would lead the rest of her life when she wrote: "Nothing was ever accomplished by hiding in a dark corner. Why not discard the hermitage for the heritage that awaits any red-blooded American woman who dares to claim it?"

Cleve Jones took that message to heart when he met the couple in 1972. He was a student at Arizona State University, and the duo went to speak to a gay liberation organization.

"For a kid just out of high school, listening to them was a life-altering experience," said Jones, who later moved to San Francisco, where he worked as a student intern in the City Hall office of gay Supervisor Harvey Milk and founded the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. "They were so confident, so unapologetic, so radical."

And, added Kendell, from the National Center for Lesbian Rights, "so fearless. In every social movement, political movement, there's someone who transcends their time. For lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, Del Martin was one of those people."

Friends and family plan to hold a public tribute to Ms. Martin in the near future. Details have not been set.
Del Martin

-- 1921 - Born on May 5 in San Francisco

-- 1950 - Met the love of her life, Phyllis Lyon

-- 1955 - Co-founded groundbreaking lesbian organization Daughters of Bilitis

-- 1960 - Took over as editor of the Ladder, a monthly lesbian magazine

-- 1964 - Helped found the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, formed to overturn laws that criminalized homosexual behavior

-- 1972 - Co-wrote with Lyon the book "Lesbian/Woman"

-- 1972 - Co-founded with Lyon the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, the first gay political club in the United States

-- 1976 - Published the book "Battered Wives," which focused on domestic violence

-- 1976 - Appointed chairwoman of the San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women

-- 1995 - Served as a delegate to the White House Conference on Aging

-- 2004 - Wed Lyon in the first of about 4,000 same-sex weddings sanctioned by San Francisco but later ruled invalid by the California Supreme Court

-- 2008 - On June 16, married Lyon again, this time with the blessing of the state Supreme Court, which found the state ban on same-sex marriage illegal


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Honk If You're Pro-(Fill in the Blank)

On the way to work this morning, we drove alongside this car that had a lot of pro-life bumper stickers. One sticker said, "Honk if you're pro-life."

It got me to thinking about that term, "pro life." It's such a faulty term in so many levels because it presupposes that those who do not support the pro-life movement are, what, pro-death? Last time I checked, the opposite camp was called pro-choice.

And let's look at the word "choice," shall we? Dictionary.com says that choice is "the right, power, or opportunity to choose" and that's exactly what I believe in. Personally, I'm against abortion. If I had an unwanted pregnancy (which is laughable right now, but just go with the hypothetical), my go-to solution would not be abortion. But I realize that other women (and men, for that matter) would choose abortion because of circumstances that are beyond the realm of understanding of other people. Believe me, I know. That's their prerogative. I am not in the business of making other people live the way I live and believe what I believe. I love diversity and I thrive in it. I believe in the individual's right to choose within logical and equitable parameters. A term that immediately forces the opposing team into a corner that they did not necessarily - er - choose is neither logical nor equitable. That's what really grinds my gears (to borrow from Peter Griffin).

Too bad the antonyms available for choice do not pertain to the word's function for choosing. So I can't offer any alternative to the term pro-life. (Well, at least nothing that would not belie my inherent - *ehem* - maturity.) We can go on and on about when life actually starts for a fetus - but I'm not interested in that particular debate. So for now, let the chips fall where they may. I just don't want people to think that I'm pro-death because I'm not pro-life.

Of course, you should know that this rant was brought to you by the fact that that bleepin' car cut us on the road. From the left side of the road, the driver drove in front of us and made a sudden right. I would've honked, but she might have thought I was on her side. So much for pro-life. She could've killed us.

Monday, August 25, 2008

The World According to Billy Mays

Used to be, you had to be up late at night to see him: Screaming, yelling, convincing you that your home is filthy with germs running amuck. Now, though, he's everywhere. And I. Mean. Every. Where. Annoying and itchy as he may seem though, (yes, itchy...after watching him for 20 seconds, I feel like I ought to bathe in some of his OxiClean*) you knew he had a point.

Yes. Must. Buy. (Insert product.) You're fighting it, but you can't help it. You "pick up the phone and call now."

Billy Mays is a veritable phenomenon. He sells everything - and if he includes a (very, very, very, very, very clean, orange-smelling) kitchen sink, I wouldn't be surprised. Everything you need to survive this day and age of ick, grime, unprofessionally sliced tomatoes, unshiny surfaces...Billy Mays has a solution.

Guess what?

(BUT) WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!

He now sells life insurance. No, seriously. Life effing insurance. "The most important product (he) has ever endorsed." Pretty heavy statement, coming from a man who has endorsed everything except - oh, I don't know - shaving implements perhaps?

Obama has Biden now, and McCain will be announcing his running mate this week. These are exciting times as the leader of the most powerful nation will soon emerge. But who will always be there, telling you what to do and how to live your life? Some dude whose face is like, 68.258% facial hair and has a voice that's scratchier than legs on day 8 after shaving. Yep. Bring that mental picture to bed with you. Welcome to my nightmares.

Note to self: Find a cure for insomnia!

Capitalism. Ain't it wonderful???

Sigh...

*Incidentally, I swear by OxiClean. I *just* spilled about a vat of black liquid shoe polish on our white carpet...spritz-spritz-spritz and it was gone! Hah!

**Update: It is now 11:13 pm EST. I *just* spilled red nail polish on the carpet. Sigh...

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Day I Went All Grammar Police on Lindsay Lohan

I have been editing the copy of a major part of my office's Web site, so I have been on full Grammar Police mode. Around lunchtime, I felt like I needed to jumpstart my brain by reading something mundane. (Haha, I know.) I got what I needed by reading about Lindsay Lohan's reaction to reports that her sister had implants. The article mentioned that she wrote her reaction on her blog. Having never seen her blog, I was curious. So I clicked on the link, and read her blog. To my horror, this is what she wrote:

. . . . . . . . .

"hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here's the visual...
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me...
one of them being, "Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?"
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, "Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!"
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn't really come up with the proper response at the time.. there's many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you're not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye...
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light...
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she's out of town :(
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL"

. . . . . . . . .

Gah! See??? This is why our children are slowly losing their ability to speak properly! Argh!!!

What I thought would be a leisurely half hour of not having to think about editing became a laborious - albeit somewhat humorous - hour of doing just that! Dear readers, you understand how I couldn't have resisted correcting her grammar! So here, I've attached the document that shows how I did just that.

Warning, it has a ton of corrections, so if you don't have time, don't even bother reading through it all. But, if you want a good intellectual hyuk-hyuk, go right ahead. (The attached document can be found at the very bottom.)

The one below is the version that has all my suggestions for improvement:

Hey, everyone…

I just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.

So here's the visual...

My friend Patrick and I were walking into a store, and two paparazzi come out of nowhere (as usual) and start throwing questions at me.

One of them asked, "Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?"

WOW!!!

My response simply was, "Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14-year-old girl, and you are a pedophile!"

I was caught off guard so I didn't really come up with the proper response at the time. There were many other things that I felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money?

All I am trying to say is, I was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me. Of course we have our ups and downs, but through it all, my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. She would never encourage nor allow a 14-year old child to alter her body. I am not judging people that do, but I am just saying that it's not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially if we are not even fully developed yet! Being 14 years old is hard enough as it is, what with having enough insecurities that already make life difficult. Having to do it in front of the public eye makes it even tougher

I just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are so bored with their own lives that they need to create lies to hurt another person.

In a more positive light...I got some great clothes from Alexander Wang. But I miss Samantha because she's out of town :(

Have a wonderful day everyone~
Until next time…
xx LL

Feel free to add your own corrections. I'm tired, so I might have missed some errors. LOL!

And now I go back to work...editing...again. Sigh.


Attachment: Corrections.doc

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Wanted: Baby

It's pregnant season and everyone's getting pregnant except me. :-( While I couldn't be happier for my friends, Selfish Me couldn't be sadder for myself. I know, I know, it'll happen when I least expect it; there's always adoption; I'm still young; yadda-yadda-yadda. Believe me, every excuse and platitude that comes with the territory, I've heard and told myself before. Believe me, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now. I'm not looking for comfort, I'm just indulging in a bit of selfish pessimism. I know I should be getting a check up to determine whether or not getting pregnant is in the cards for me - but I'm too (a) busy, (b) scared, (c) neck-deep in BS to find out for sure.

Yeah, well, maybe I should just do it. Yeah, I'll see the doctor on Monday.

Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie I am not, but if you know of any child looking for a mommy, tell them you know a mommy-wanna-be looking for a child to love.

Lord, teach me to accept your will.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Engaged Idealist

It's been a while since I did one of these things, and as far as personality tests go, I think this is pretty cool. Got this one from Carlo.

Engaged Idealist (EI)

Engaged Idealists are extroverted and helpful. Others find them to be very congenial and inspiring - especially as they are always willing to see the best in the other person. Their humour, their energy and their optimism attract other people. Engaged Idealists are very good at communicating and are good at convincing and firing on others. That is why it is a matter of course that they often take over the leading role in groups. This personality type often produces very charismatic persons.

Engaged Idealists have an unusually strong ability to empathise. They are tolerant and generous towards others; they sometimes tend to idealise their friends. They always try to suit everybody and want their relationships to be harmonious and satisfactory. To achieve this, they are prepared to invest a great deal and to put their requirements last. As Engaged Idealists are very considerate, there is the danger of them sacrificing and overexerting themselves for others. In their job, they therefore have to be very careful not to develop a burnout syndrome.

Engaged Idealists are reliable, well organised and love structuring complicated situations. They have difficulty accepting criticism; they quickly feel hurt and misunderstood. Their perfectionism also influences their love life - they look for the perfect relationship for life. Once they have made their decision, they are faithful, well-balanced and loving partners. However, should they get involved with the wrong person, it can happen that they allow themselves to be exploited for a long time before they end the relationship.

Adjectives which describe your type:
extroverted, theoretical, emotional, planning, idealistic, committed, likable, enthusiastic, responsible, helpful, loyal, diplomatic, friendly, inspiring, caring, solicitous, optimistic, effusive, adaptable, communicative, articulate, convincing, energetic, optimistic, open, vulnerable

These subjects could interest you:
art, psychology, politics, honorary work, environmental protection, nature, travel