Anger.
Just. Anger.
And fatigue.
And ennui.
Mostly anger.
Just. Anger.
Anger.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Vertigo and Vertical
And so this blasted vertigo has rendered me prostate for most of the day. I'm fine when I'm lying down (well, at least it's not as bad), but when I stand up, I start to feel woozy and pukey and...well, it's like I'm about to fade into a massive Hitchcockian flashback sequence, is what I'm saying.
(And no, I am not pregnant. Believe me.)
Anyway.
Lucia had a hardish time going to sleep tonight. Usually it's about an hour of Sesame Street and peekaboos and nursing, but tonight, for some reason, she had a really hard time getting to sleep. I tried the usual (singing Twinkle Twinkle, placing her on my chest...) but it simply didn't work. Thinking she felt hot, I stood up, picked her up, and rocked her near the fan. She quickly fanangled her way into a cradle, so I was soon rocking back and forth, with the length of her wrapping around most of my upper body. Within 2 minutes, she was fast asleep.
In between giant gulps of air to keep the nausea down, it dawned on me just how big she's gotten. She isn't as porky as before (she's gaining weight again though, thank goodness), but my gulay, the height in this one! Certainly not vertically challenged like Mommy. There was a time when I could carry her with just one arm. Now it takes both arms and a strategically-angled shoulder.
Oh, Lucia.
Well, she might be a big girl now, but she wants to be rocked and cradled by Mommy. I hope for a long time still.
(And no, I am not pregnant. Believe me.)
Anyway.
Lucia had a hardish time going to sleep tonight. Usually it's about an hour of Sesame Street and peekaboos and nursing, but tonight, for some reason, she had a really hard time getting to sleep. I tried the usual (singing Twinkle Twinkle, placing her on my chest...) but it simply didn't work. Thinking she felt hot, I stood up, picked her up, and rocked her near the fan. She quickly fanangled her way into a cradle, so I was soon rocking back and forth, with the length of her wrapping around most of my upper body. Within 2 minutes, she was fast asleep.
In between giant gulps of air to keep the nausea down, it dawned on me just how big she's gotten. She isn't as porky as before (she's gaining weight again though, thank goodness), but my gulay, the height in this one! Certainly not vertically challenged like Mommy. There was a time when I could carry her with just one arm. Now it takes both arms and a strategically-angled shoulder.
.JPG) |
| Four days old. Seems like yesterday. |
Oh, Lucia.
Well, she might be a big girl now, but she wants to be rocked and cradled by Mommy. I hope for a long time still.
Forced
And so it has come to this: the fatigue has reduced me to this snivelly mess of aches and vertigo. Decided to stay home today, mostly also because I wanted to monitor Lucia who's had a weird cough. Okay, and yeah, I'm sick. Sick-ish. Okay, sick.
I hate taking days off or admitting that I'm ill. I'd much rather minister to others who are sick. I can't stop thinking of all the stuff I could be doing at work instead.
Mostly also because, when I'm not working, I'm thinking, and when I'm thinking I'm...
But I don't want to think.
The end of the school year is nigh. Must look forward to that instead. Yes, looking forward to that.
I hate taking days off or admitting that I'm ill. I'd much rather minister to others who are sick. I can't stop thinking of all the stuff I could be doing at work instead.
Mostly also because, when I'm not working, I'm thinking, and when I'm thinking I'm...
But I don't want to think.
The end of the school year is nigh. Must look forward to that instead. Yes, looking forward to that.
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