Changes Afoot

We've been getting a lot of power outages these past few days. Actually, they come every day now, and they last about two hours. Some major change is underway, road construction and electricity reroutings in preparation for the international airport that's about to open about an hour from where we are.

The power outages are a bit of an inconvenience, but, like many Filipinos, we've come to adjust and adapt to these occurrences, and so now we're more or less nonplussed when they come along. We've learned to anticipate them such that when they do happen, all it elicits is the obligatory hay naku.

In a way, I feel like this much of the time. A kind of rerouting of my energies. For one thing, I've managed to make an actual friend here, the guy who does our hair at the salon downtown. He actually took me out one night and I actually had fun sans Lucia (which is an odd thing here in Iligan). He lived in Manila a long time, and so he speaks Tagalog with ease. I can't tell you how comforting that is for me. I'm also thinking of getting into a dance class of sorts -- of course, I'll have to look for one first, but I really want to get into that. Also, I'm slowly opening myself up to new possibilities, new people. I still panic from time to time, what with all these "changes", but those are minor power outages due to incoming improvements.

International flights to Happyland. Can't wait. :)

Homage

So I have new tattoos agan. :)

Most of my tattoos have chronicled my personal struggles and my attempt to overcome them. This morning, I got two new ones to pay homage to the people who have, time and time again, without fail, given me the strength to do that.

When I was a kid, whenever I'd get lost in the crowd, or whenever I'd lose sight of my parents, Papa and/or Mama would whistle this tune so that I'd be able to find them. Whenever Papa would come home from work or a concert, he'd whistle the tune as he walked through the door and then us kids would come to play (no matter how late it was). When we got older, and started living in Grand Rapids, Mama or Papa would whistle it, meaning it was time for dinner. (Being able to have dinner as a family was a treat because by that time, Papa could spend more time with us, having cut down the number of his engagements.) The tune would always make me feel like a kid again, safe in the home that my parents made for us. As my brother put it, it was like a homing beacon. My brother thought about tattooing the whistle on himself (and he already has), and I thought I'd do the same.

Also, I can't whistle. :P The permanence of this tattoo shall
hopefully make up for it. ;)

The other tattoo I got was a small daisy on my wrist. Mama planted a bunch of daisies outside our home office and she would look at it and it made her calm. I remember how attached she was to those flowers and since then, I've always thought of her whenever I see daisies. They're pure and dainty, but what I like most of all is how they open up when the sun's around and close up at night. They open up to absorb all that is good in the sun and then close up to protect themselves during the cold night. My mom's like that, see. She opens herself up to the sunshine, but in the darkest of nights, her instinct is always to protect.

I made it small, so my mom won't freak out so much, haha.
Love you, Ma. ;)

I put the whistle on my left arm, so that it is visible when I shield myself with that arm. That tune protects me, reminds me of what makes me strong. I put the daisy on my right pulse, to mirror the placement of my daughter's name on my left pulse. I like the idea that on my right is the woman I want to become, and on my left, the woman I am responsible for becoming.

It is difficult, especially since these last few months, to live so far away from my parents, my family. But the distance was nothing compared to how majestically they came to my rescue when I needed them most. I am who I am because of my family, and I pay tribute for all that they are.

An Update and a Message

It's useless. I've tried to start this entry a total of 6 times already. Fact of the matter is, I can't really write about anything right now because I am either one or all of the following:

1. sleeping
2. waking up
3. being happy
4. figuring things out
5. lounging
6. freaking out
7. talking
8. watching something
9. doing prep work for the new season (script writing begins again soon)
10. swimming 
11. playing with Lucia
12. putting Lucia to sleep
13. teaching Lucia new stuff
14. getting fat/trying to lose weight
15. removing stickers from walls

So there. I'll find something more concrete to write about soon. Well, real soon. I'll be getting the last of my pre-planned tattoos tomorrow, perhaps the most important one of all as it is something my brother and I had been planning for a while now. Stay tuned for that na lang.

Meanwhile, this:

Congratulations for reaching the end of this school year. I'm sorry that it had such a confusing start; it was mostly my fault. Know, though, that I am in a much better place now. And like I promised, everything is all right — most especially all of you. I wish I had been there to usher you all into the last phase of your high school lives, but you have done gloriously without me. I couldn't be prouder. But though I have been far away, know that you were all always in my prayers. Your resilience and strength of character have seen you through. 

Here's to a well-deserved summer. Hang on to your seats, things'll pass by really quickly from here on out.

Make sure you always disinfect! ;)