It is really difficult to write a year-ender simply because I can't make sense of the year that has passed. There are some events that happened this year that I could've sworn happened the year before. It's as if my mind has already distanced itself from several things and now I am puzzled by its proximity to my Now.
I think something happened that definitely made me change the course of my current trajectory.
Oh, look at me, calling it "something" when I actually know what it is. But it is what it is, and it shall not be named (at least not publicly) and I got through it, didn't I?
If this year is to be known for anything, then, let it be known for how my family and friends have kept me alive and well. The support has been incredible and extremely grace-filled. I am hardly worthy, and yet the love just keeps coming and coming for me and my Lucia.
Which is why, despite all my complaints about my reality, I don't want to be anywhere else. This is where the Lord wants me. It is one of the few things that 2015 has made abundantly clear to me.
It's been a struggle doing the whole single parent thing. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it okay enough or if I'm scarring Lucia for life. But she remains smart and kind and healthy and beautiful despite her mother; my cup runneth over.
And so, with a puzzled look to 2015, I enter 2016, cautiously optimistic. There are still so many things I haven't figured out yet, but on with the upswing, I say! Let's go!
