Paniki

My husband and I had to do errands today (registering Lucia's birth, getting loans in order, etc.) so we had to leave her with my MIL for a few hours. Actually, I'm still at the doctor's clinic, waiting for my OB so she could check on my incision and all the blechy business of the operation. I insisted on having Chad go back to the house ASAP though because I really have been a nervous wreck the whole morning. This was the first time we both left her at the house. Guh.

What if she cries and realizes I'm not there and her tiny heart will think I abandoned her?



What if she refuses to drink her formula and insists on having my breastmilk and I'm not there and then she'll starve and then her poor little stomach will think I abandoned her?

What if she bangs her head and she cries and all she'll see is my MIL and she'll wonder where I am and her poor little eyes will think I abandoned her?

Hay! The guilt, my God! People talk about the overwhelming love that new moms feel, but they seem to have forgotten about the guilt!

Good Lord, I've turned into one of those crazed mothers.

The doctor's here. Just as well. I'm turning too cuckoo even for me.

Incidentally, when Chad got to the house, my MIL was happy to report that she drank a few ounces of formula after we left and has been asleep ever since.

My brilliant, adorable, squishy, perfect child. Poor little child, her mother's positively batty. :p

Ugh. Can you imagine what it would be like when I go back to work? Batty. Positively batty!

And panicky. Batty is panicky because panicky is a bat. As in paniki. Weh. Now I'm corny and babbly and...okay, I'll stop now.