So J. Crew President and Creative Director Jenna Lyons came out in their recent catalog with her son. In the catalog, Lyons is shown painting her toddler's toes a hot bright pink (not that it matters -- just that the coincidence is awesome -- but my toes are the exact same shade, same brand of nail polish, too) because it is the child's favorite color. Apparently there's a bit of an uproar because the toddler happens to be a boy. I stumbled upon the article here.
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| Picture is from the catalog, hosted by the site where the article is from. (Isn't that shade of pink divine? I'm enjoying my toesies like you wouldn't believe.) |
Most people would think I'm girly-girly because I love pink and glitters and furry objects. Sure, I guess. But I'm also usually very slovenly on regular days (especially now that mommy duties have taken over my life). I could list down other ways I am blech-y, but I'd like to clutch the last vestiges of my dignity for a while longer.
I also have a little girl, so I have a lot of pink in my life (I actually didn't realize our closets could get any pinker), but she seems to be very sporty (well, as sporty as a five month old could be, hehe) and robust -- adjectives that most people don't necessarily attribute to girls. (That's another issue altogether, however, I shall keep myself from going down that path. Some other time.) We're also dressing her in frilly dresses though. We just got her a headband. She's getting her ears pierced on Friday (more on that as the day approaches). But if she wants to do something that society has deemed more "masculine", we'd be happy to cheer her on. And if you know me personally, you know it wouldn't stop there and that this isn't just lip service.
If you want to immerse yourself, and perhaps even your child, in gender stereotypes, go ahead. Anak mo 'yan e. Imposing those standards on someone else is just bollocks though. There's this person whom I see fairly regularly and he always asks if Lucia is a girl or boy (no matter how many times I've told him) and every time, he tells me I should do something to make her look more like a girl.To him and other like-minded fellows (oh, ang pagpipigil! I wanted to say something far more venomous, but I want to be dignified nga e...kuno), I raise my chin and other body parts (dignified pa din 'yan a).
So the kid likes pink! That's not the first time a boy liked pink. And if the color isn't the issue but the act of wearing nail polish and other maquillage, I hold up the following as Exhibits A, B, and C: "artists" who paint their nails (most black), men who wear eyeliners, and DOMs who have red-tinged, clear-polished fingernails (sorry a, mejo pet peeve ko 'to, so I'm just going to go out on a limb and say...E W W W).
Oh, but bah! Who cares? I mean, we could spend time filling out two columns to distinguish guy adjectives and girl adjectives, but the very thought exhausts me. I fall under the trap of gender stereotyping myself, so when I see someone challenge it, I say HURRAH! More of that, please! We need more of that.
So, yeah. Go lang. Enjoy pink. Because really, it is a spectacular color. Pink is awesome. You tsk-tsk-ers are absurd. (Just had to go plug the blog. You know I had to.)
Pink is my answer to everything, and pink polish needs the least amount of philosophizing.
ReplyDeletethere are obviously extreme positions one can take on this, but i'm curious as to your point:
ReplyDelete1. do you think boys and girls shouldn't be brought up gender-appropriate? or
2. do you think the concept of "gender-appropriate" shouldn't even exist? or
3. do you think pink is not necessarily a feminine color?
i think the fox news article actually presents a reasonable argument, though. you won't often hear me say that about that particular news outlet.
i'm not trying a start a flame war, btw.
ReplyDeleteAmen, SISsy!
ReplyDeleteJB, I actually think you brought up good points that I wasn't able to elaborate upon. Gender stereotyping, as with all sorts of stereotyping, is restrictive. So yes, I am opposed to it. If the child happens to choose something that is deemed "gender appropriate" by society just because he or she happens to like it, then it should be valued because the child exercises a preference and not because the child participates in the stereotyping.
Nyek. Clear ba? Hehe.
As for your second question, no, I don't think "gender appropriate" should exist. Adjustments (and not restrictions) should be made for the biological needs of men and women though, like bathroom stalls for respective sexes being different because, goodness, it's simply logistically awful for women to pee the same way men do. "Gender" and "sex" are different. "Gender" is a social construct. "Sex" is biological (although, yeah, I realize that that can be changed as well).
As for pink, I think it's awesome through and through. So I'm all for spreading the love. Pink shouldn't be just for girls. But that's just me. ;)
I didn't get the news from Fox e (and I chuckle even as I write that statement), so I don't know what it had to say. I avoid it as much as possible. I'm sure you'd understand why. Hehe.
Thanks, JB!
(Warning: long-winded comment ahead.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reply, Katinka. While i agree with you on most points, i'd like to present a slightly different perspective. Again, i'm not trying to start a flame war.
What the "protests" (if they can be called that) seem to be about are the way the pic/ad seems to encourage the little boy (and little boys all over the world, perhaps) to be androgynous and maybe even overtly girly. After all, giggling while painting toenails pink is one of those quintessential "girly" visuals. The Faux News correspondent in particular kind of lamented this as being a societal issue, about how we don't care about raising our kids to be comfortable with how they were born.
I think the latter interpretation takes it too far, but i can still sympathize at least a little bit. While i believe in supporting diversity in sexual orientations and lifestyles, and certainly don't mind a little gender-bending silliness now and then (i've been known to cross dress in college), i do also believe that little boys should be brought up as little boys and little girls should be brought up as little girls (it seems you agree with this at least partly, given the frilly dresses, headband, and ear piercing).
Having said that, if my son comes up to me and starts behaving like a girl, there will be no yelling and screaming from me. There will however be a gentle nudge in the direction of masculinity. Now if the behavior is pervasive and he ultimately turns out to be gay, that's absolutely fine. But still, boys should be encouraged (at least in some part, during their formative years) to be boys.
What i'm curious about though is the backstory to the pic. For all the backlash this seems to be producing, what is it all about? Is it just a boy who normally goes out setting ants aflame with a magnifying glass who just happened to be enjoying some down time with his mom? Is it a boy who at an early age is already manifesting a desire to be a girl instead of a boy? I'm almost certain that the "protesters" are making a mountain out of this molehill.
I agree with you completely about that molehill. This picture just begs for context. But even if we do get to find out the context, paki ba natin, diba? I mean it's no Jan-Jan incident. (Have you heard about that? Just in case you haven't: here. Just one of the many articles on the incident. Hay!)
ReplyDeleteAs for Lucia, I dress her in frills and pinks because, well, I like frills and pinks. To an extent. I mean, I don't want her to look like Trampy Barbie naman. If she grows up and prefers to wear something else, I'll be all for it...as long as she doesn't end up looking like Trampy Barbie.
I guess I understand where your "gentle nudge" is coming from. If Lucia were manifesting "boyish" preferences, I'd encourage those as well as encourage her to do some "girlish" things as well. I won't nudge as much as expose her to the other choices though.
I'd rather focus on honing other values during her formative years (like respect, nationalism, etc) than other gender stereotypes. I think she won't need much help from me when it comes to that. :)