17. I am a lot more obssessive compulsive than I allow others to know. For me to walk away from a mess or dirt or an unruly collar means I deliberately chose to walk away -- with much effort. One of my coping mechanisms is to allow a little mess to continue existing within sight, as a testament of my little victory against my demons. I usually fiddle with my hair or wring my hands when I am willing myself to walk away from a mess.
18. I was a horrible bully.
19. My second favorite color is green -- yes, the La Salle kind of green.
20. Before I got pregnant, I loved eggplant. While I was pregnant, I couldn't stand it. Now that I've given birth, I'll only eat it if it's grilled.
21. I still breastfeed my daughter. She's 14 months old. I am a rockstar mom.
22. My daughter brings me a kind of joy that I never thought was possible.
23. I've always wanted to teach. I never actually envisioned myself as anything else.
24. I am friends with all my exes but one. I can honestly say that I wish nothing but the absolute best for them. Even that one.
25. Sometimes, when I say "home", I actually mean Grand Rapids. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
26. If it were up to me, we wouldn't have anything to do with her. Ever. I have never met anyone as fundamentally, existentially, absolutely, and diametrically opposite of who I am than she.
27. Dora < Backyardigans < Sesame Street
28. I can watch Star Trek the Next Generation the whole day. No, really. I know this because I've done it. For two weeks straight. (Kindly refer to Part 1, number 6.)
27. I am glorious when I am angry. But I actually hate confrontation. If I can avoid it, I will. It's because I know how visceral and verbally violent I can get.
28. My writing is feels more organic when I'm angry -- and people often laugh when they read it. But when I am happy, my writing makes people cry. Weird.
29. I hate cats.
And as to why I started this bloody meme in the first bloody place...
30. I am currently questioning something I used to be fantastically sure about. I am no longer angry, but I am hurt. It is the hurt that is crippling me and I am hobbling my way through this week. That I still have teeth is amazing as I am grinding them down to pearly nubs, all in an effort to keep the rage, tears, and figurative vomit in. I have no idea how I shall last the week -- the year. The hatred; oh, the hate.
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