And So We Meet Again, Proust

Because I've had nothing to do the whole day (wait, let's relish that thought once more: I've had nothing to do the whole day) but take care of Duckie, I've basically been trolling the Internet. Out of Web sites to visit and still very much un-sleepy, I decided to visit my old blog and chanced upon this meme I did a little over two years ago.

It's essentially a meme based on the last page of Vanity Fair (favorite magazine!) wherein known personalities answer a bunch of questions and hopefully (depending on whether the responder was forthcoming...or cool), the reader gains a more profound knowledge of the person.

I had fun answering that and I had more fun rereading my answers from two years ago. Not a lot has changed, but then a lot has changed. You know what I mean? So in the interest of self knowledge and self-indulgence (and absolute I-have-nothing-else-to-do-ness), here we go (again)...

"Since July 1993, the back page of Vanity Fair has been devoted to the Proust Questionnaire, in which a noteworthy person answers a series of personal questions. The questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust (1871–1922), the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature." (VF)

My recent responses are in italics.

1.What is your idea of perfect happiness? 
I have none. Because perfect happiness...

2.What is your greatest fear? 
...scares me. While perfection intrigues me and baits me, to actually achieve it scares me. What else will there be once it is achieved? And my puny human brain is incapable of wrapping itself around the notion of perfection.

Yeah, my answers are still the same. :)

3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I hate my temper, although I must give myself chops because it has toned down significantly.

And I think it has toned down even more. Being a mother has squelched me considerably. (Which isn’t to say that I still have a temper. The well runs deep.)

4.What is the trait you most deplore in others? 
“Deliberate ignorance” -- Pareho tayo, Aims. I have such a low tolerance for ignorance (maybe that's one of the reasons I became a teacher, lol), but deliberate ignorance? Forget it. You are dead to me.

I got the idea to do this from my friend Aimee. I don’t know about her, but my answer remains the same. Deliberate ignorance seems to be the root cause of bigotry and destructive fundamentalism.

And Sarah Palin.

5.Which living person do you most admire? 
It's difficult to answer this. Top of mind na lang: Anthony Bourdain. LOL.

Well, he’s still in my heart, but the top-top-top guy on my list now is my husband. The past few years have not been easy, but he has been my rock. He has taken care of me, and now even Lucia, with every inch of his being, with nary a thought for himself. We are lost, seriously, without him.

6.What is your greatest extravagance?
My books, closely followed by my shoes.

Still the same. :) Except I don’t really buy shoes anymore. Nowadays, just the books. Lucia still has a ton of gifts and hand-me-downs, so we haven’t had the need to go shopping for her just yet. Give or take a few months, I believe my biggest extravagance shall be buying her stuff. 

7.What is your current state of mind? 
Mild panic. Denial is a wonderful thing.

I believe I was in the thick of my Masters program at this point. My current state of mind is bliss with pockets of worry tempered by a general sense of gratitude.

8.What do you consider the most overrated virtue? 
Conservatism.

Yep. Still.

9.On what occasion do you lie? 
Playing cards ;-). But I don't do that so well.

Haha! I Haven’t played poker in ages. Now I lie...when I assure my husband that I’m not tired yet. Hehe. It’s the least I can do because I know he’s even more tired than I am.

10.What do you most dislike about your appearance? 
Do you have an hour? Geez.

Are you kidding me? I just had a baby. ‘Nuff said.

11.Which living person do you most despise? 
There are six of them, and I don't remember any of their names, save for one.

Skipping this one...

12.What is the quality you most like in a man? 
Humor and integrity.

Equals Chaddy. :)

13.What is the quality you most like in a woman? 
Integrity and humor. Really, why ought it be different from what I would admire in a man?

Nga naman.

14.Which words or phrases do you most overuse? 
“Awesome” and “Crap.” That means I go through both extremes a lot during the day, lol. :-)

Well, I think I say “oh my goodness” a lot now. Concession for the baby, hehe. :)

15.What or who is the greatest love of your life? 
Chaddy.

Who has given me yet another love of my life, Lucia.

16.When and where were you happiest? 
The months immediately preceding my leaving for the States in 2006. But those were also some of my saddest months.

Since giving birth to my daughter and moving into our own place, things have been pretty awesome.

17.Which talent would you most like to have? 
To swim like that first lady who crossed the English channel. I figured it might come in handy, since the worst way to die as far as I'm concerned is by drowning.

These days, I’d like to be able to do ten things at the same time without getting exhausted. :p

18.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 
I get hurt very easily, I just don't show it.

Self doubt.

19.What do you consider your greatest achievement? 
Getting married, not to Mr. Right, but to Mr. Right For Me.

That and well, surviving a day and a half of labor which eventually led to getting a C-section. Rock. On. \m/

20.If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? 
A star. Like the ones up there, not like a celebrity.

Still. :)

21.Where would you most like to live? 
Manila.

Well, living in the province by the sea ain’t such a bad idea either.

22.What is your most treasured possession?
My journals.

Yeah. :)

23.What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? 
I don't even want to write it down for fear of having it happen too soon.

Yeah. :(

24.What is your favorite occupation?
It's a toss up between reading and writing.

I’ve been doing too much writing lately, would love to do a bit more reading.

25.What is your most marked characteristic?
My wit? My righteous indignation? My height? I don't know, this is best answered by someone else.

None of those things have necessarily changed (even height, hmph), but I’m going to go with wit. Somebody else said so, you see.

26.What do you most value in your friends?
Support.

I have a lot of friends but I have a core group of people who have been with me since forever and they’re just the best people ever.

27.Who are your favorite writers?
*groan* Not this impossible question! No, I'm walking away...

...(((footsteps)))...

28.Who is your hero of fiction?
Lucy Pevensie

Hence, my child’s name is Lucia. :)

29.Which historical figure do you most identify with? 
Can't say that I do with anyone.

Yeah. Still can’t.

30.Who are your heroes in real life? 
Honestly? My husband. He always takes care of me.

Yay. :D Also -- and I say this not because they weren't already heroes of mine but because I've gained a much deeper appreciation of who they are as persons and who they are to me -- my parents. Since becoming a parent, I've been blown away by endless realizations of how much they've done for and to me. Especially my mother whom, according to my husband, I am slowly turning into. Hah!

31.What are your favorite names?
We've already picked names for our future kids (if we do have kids), but I don't want to write them down because I might jinx it! LOL.

And so I didn’t jinx it! Good call, me! ;)

32.What is it that you most dislike?
Like I said, deliberate ignorance.

I’d like to add: Anything that will harm my daughter.

33.What is your greatest regret? 
Good answer, Aims. No regret, just remorse. I'm sorry I stayed far longer than I should have with someone in particular. But, at least I was able to gain really good friends because of my association with him. So quits lang. ;-)

Haha! I can’t believe I said this!

On a serious note though, I wish I had been able to spend more time with my father in law before he passed away. He was a very good man and he would’ve made a wonderful grandfather to Lucia. He was taken too soon.

34.How would you like to die?
With a smile on my face.

And sure that Chaddy and Lucia will be safe, cared for, and happy.

35.What is your motto?
Credo quia absurdum. I believe precisely because it's absurd.

Mismo.

.