We're back at Dalipuga.
So, all throughout this "vacation," now's the only time I've actually had time by myself. It's just us girls here (Mama, Lucia, and I) and so that means Lucia and I have turned marsupial once more.
But I've had plenty of time to think. It seems like it's all I can do out here. And watch the waves.
The waves had been crazy the past few days. There was a storm of some sort in Manila this whole time. It's been nothing but blue beautiful skies here since Friday, but the waves had been crazy strong, the only indication that something was out of the ordinary. At this moment though, (it's 7ish in the morning), it's utterly calm. So calm, in fact, that Mama was able to bring Lucia to the sea to swim a bit. (Hence my sudden return into the mammal kingdom.)
The waves had died, but my thoughts are still crashing about, an indication that something is out of the ordinary. Far, far, far away.
If only things were different. I'm not even asking for things to be easier, just different. For there to be some sort of chance for something better. (Because we deserve it, damnit.) Because, now I know, and there is no way to un-know this.
If only I were free. If only there was a way, not even a way now, just...a way.
If only conclusions were decisions, too.
In a few hours I shall leave the waves, the skies, the sea. And when I return...more of this.
But at least now I know, and there is no way to un-know this.
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