"Manong Third Year"

One of our longtime guards passed away yesterday. He was directing traffic and then he had a heart attack. It was almost as if he was switched off—one minute he was there, the next he was gone.

News of his death spread in trickles at first through Twitter. My feed was peppered with bits and pieces of the story. When the story was finally taking shape in my head, I couldn't help but wish that it wasn't "Manong Third Year" (that's the pet name my husband and I gave him since he's usually stationed in our wing—right by my class' classroom, no less). Despite all the evidence, I was vehemently denying that it was he who had passed, until finally, the actual confirmation came.

I shed copious tears—still am—and I can't quite grasp why I'm so sad and how sad I am. Was it because I saw him every, single, blessed day? Was it because he and I would always talk about the weather, the kids, my husband (whom he has known for so long as well since Chaddy used to work here), my daughter (whom he has known since she was in my belly)? Was it because he had seen my daughter make her first furtive steps along the corridors and was equally delighted?

Yes and so much more. He had been part of my life, no matter how fleeting, no matter how minutely. No, I can't even make that argument since he wasn't a minute part of my life. A day in school would pass when I wouldn't see some of my colleagues, but I would always see him. The other older guard and I were speaking this morning and he said something that really hit home. "Ma'am, bago pa nga kayo naging mag-boyfriend ni Sir Chad, kilala na po namin kayo." Indeed, and that's why he was such a big part of our lives.

Today would be the first time since having started with the third year program (close to three years now) that I wouldn't be seeing him. Selfishly, I will mourn for that loss. Oh, how the kids and I will miss you. How Chad and I will miss you. Thank you letting me hug you at least once, Manong Nelson. Haha! :)

Get some rest and till we meet again—as I'm half expecting you to stand guard at the gates of Heaven as well.