Photosensitive

I was out by the pool for close to three hours the other day. I needed some time alone, and I hadn't been out in the sun for longer than a few minutes. I didn't realize I was out that long though, until I got back from the pool.

Some people get sunburned, well, I got a rash, covering the entire area that was exposed to the sun; which is to say, a good portion of my body. From afar, it just looks like I have mad sunburn, but it's a rash all right. When I looked at the mirror, it looked like I was still wearing my swimsuit. My entire torso is hot to the touch, my shoulders are red as lobsters, and my legs look like they were stepped on repeatedly. (I've had this done to me before, so I know. Long story.)

Apparently, all that time I spent in the basement and fetus-like in bed (close to a month now) has made me intensely photosensitive. Who knew a month without any prolonged exposure to the sun could do that?

So, fantastic. I am now allergic to sunlight.

The rash will go away eventually. I'm hoping so will the photosensitivity.

It's like my body is one with my soul in rejecting all forms of happiness.

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And so it has come to this: I am alone in this one. Utterly alone. And I would like to elaborate on that, but I can't. Because this has robbed me of everything. Addicts have rock bottom, I suppose the depressed also have theirs. I'm certainly living in mine.

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All I wanted was a little sunlight. And now I have a rash. I hope it goes away eventually. I'm hoping so will the photosensitivity.